October fun with your family

It’s October and that means crisp breezes, heightened crock pot use and Halloween! We’ve got some great ideas and recipes to help you celebrate this month with your kids without spending a ton of money, so let’s get started…

On those cold, dreary October days, what could taste better than creamy potato soup? Here is Jessica’s personal recipe for crock pot potato soup: 

Chop up one onion, 4 potatoes, 5 stalks of celery, and 3 big carrots. Sautee onions until they start to brown, then toss in other veggies for about 7-10 minutes to soften. You can also brown up some bacon to add to the crock pot for flavor, but a shortcut is to buy the bagged or jarred REAL Bacon Bits (not the imitation ones). Put the vegetables and bacon into the crock pot, along with 4 cans of chicken stock, salt and pepper, and 1 cup of cream (or milk, if you want to be healthier). Cook on low for about 2 hours. When you have about 30 minutes to go, add as much shredded cheese as you want (about 1-2 cups). Take a fork or masher and mash potatoes to make the soup creamier. Garnish the soup with some shredded cheese on top and chives. MMM! 

Now that you have dinner taken care of, how about a snack? This recipe for roasted pumpkin seeds are a perfect way to use every part of your Halloween décor. After carving your Jack-O-Lanterns, use the seeds inside to make this tasty snack. 

Speaking of Halloween décor, you don’t have to spend a lot of money to get your house looking spooky for the trick-or-treaters this year. Here are some cheap and easy ideas: 

1)    Ghosts: simply take small white trash bags and stuff the top closed end with tissue paper or rags. Close off the top for the head with a rubber band or some string. Take a Sharpie and draw eyes and a mouth. Tie them up with a string around your mailbox, outdoor lights and near your front door. If it’s windy, they will look like they are floating.

2)    Headstones: cut them out from cardboard, then paint black for added effect. Prop them up in the front yard.

3)    For the little ones: help them cut out cats from black construction paper. Let them glue on googly eyes or make your own eyes with foil or another color of construction paper. Tape them up on the screen door or around the house.

4)    Make your own scarecrow using old clothes stuffed with newspaper or hay. Tie them at the elbows, knees and neck to look more realistic. Hay or raffia can be used for hair, and a hat can top it off. If you have the time and supplies, use buttons for the nose, mouth and eyes of the scarecrow. Set him up on a bale of hay by the front door to greet your visitors. 

What better way to top off your craft-making fun than with caramel apples? Click here for an easy and delicious recipe.

You’ll enjoy these ideas best alongside family and friends. If you have any more easy October recipes or crafts, please share them with us! Happy October!

Restoration of Civility

I don’t know about ya’ll, but Aubrey gets stuck on a book for months before she’ll let me read her a new one at bedtime. It’s been The Bernstein Bears Learn Their Manners since about June now, and honestly, I’d like to take Mama Bear’s Politeness Plan and run over it with my car. 

I find it funny that I am so irritated with a book that has such a good message, especially when I’ve used it to teach Aubrey some semblance of manners (thank God she hasn’t really picked up on my road rage yet). I’m sure part of it is that my brain is more developed than my 2-yr-old’s, and part of it is that I am a typical, busy, working American mom. Unfortunately, the busyness of my life is something that I haven’t managed to completely compartmentalize. It oozes into other parts of my life, and where it’s okay to rush to 7-11, swipe my credit card and fill my gas tank in 5 minutes with no human interaction, it’s a different story when people and my to-do list collide.

Recent events have brought to light what we probably knew all along- that people are rude, they will do and say what they want, and feel completely justified in their hissy fits if things don’t go the way they want. From Kanye West’s now infamous rant during Taylor Swift’s stolen moment at the MTV Video Music Awards, to Joe Wilson disrespecting the highest office in our country to the disgruntled Walmart customer, we want what we want, we want it now, and we are entitled to it, dang it!

With role models like these out there, it is up to us as parents to show our children not only the proper way to behave, but the right way of seeing people. If we are Christians, we have an added responsibility to not only see people as people, but to see people as beloved children of God.

Part of the problem is our culture and the way that convenient consumerism has enhanced our productivity while tearing down our relationships, and part of the problem, for me at least, is that I am just so darn impatient! Do I really need to honk my horn as much as I do? I blame the way I drive on the fact that I learned to drive in Mexico City (quick stats: population 30 million, time it takes to drive from one end of the city to another: 2 hours and 45 minutes… you have to be cutthroat on the road or you’re done for), but honestly, that is no excuse, because now I live in Yukon, Oklahoma where the busiest intersection is only that way because it is a major truck stop off of I-40.

I have this mindset when I’m driving that everyone else is an idiot, that they don’t see me or that they should know that people who want to speed (er…ahem…like me) NEED that left lane, so if you are going to go the speed limit, MOVE OVER! It’s like me against everyone else, it’s a fight, it’s a race to get to where I need to be. Add a squealing toddler to the backseat (I want juice! I want my book! I want everything that is too far away for Mommy to safely reach back, grab and hand to me! And if she DOES take the risk, I will throw all those cheerios to the ground because I.WANT.A.SUCKER!!! Waaaaahhhh!) and it makes for one nervous wreck of a mother. My lack of civility on the road robs me of time I could be interacting with Aubrey, singing songs, or enjoying the journey instead of taking the destination for granted. Maybe the Cheerios in my hair wouldn’t piss me off so much if I was paying more attention to what my daughter needed than checking as many things off my list in the shortest amount of time possible. 

Now that you think I’m officially the Worst Mother Ever, may I present a redeeming quality? I want to be better. I want Aubrey to see what I do and mimick it and have people comment on what a little lady she is. I want more observations from daycare like I got the other day: “Aubrey is so polite. She always says ‘please’ and ‘thank-you’”. That was awesome to read, and I know that I must be doing something right when I see things like that. We do always make her say please if she wants something, and thank-you after we give it to her, but I want the lessons to go beyond her being able to get what she wants with magic words.

Do we only say please and thank-you because we want something? Because we want people to think we are a certain way? Or do we do it out of sincerity, out of the understanding of The Golden Rule? It’s probably a little bit of both, but I think it has more to do with respect than anything. Ryan and I realized one day that we never said those things to each other and that Aubrey was going to start picking up on it, so we made it a point to be more polite to each other. While it was something we started for Aubrey, it turned into true appreciation for what the other did and ended up enhancing our relationship.

How do we go against the grain of incivility in our culture? How do we teach our children to “mind their manners”? If you’ve been paying attention at all, you’ll be able to answer along with me that it will only get through if we become living examples for those little eyes and ears. I could give you a list of things kid should do to be polite, but you probably know them all.

The best way to teach our children how to be polite, functioning members of society is to be that ourselves. We must be polite to our spouses, our parents, our children, their teachers, and most especially strangers. Don’t discriminate. Everyone deserves to be treated like a decent human being, and as Christians we don’t get the luxury of writing someone off because we don’t like them. We don’t have to be best pals, but we are to see them rightly- as someone that Christ loves and died for just as much as He did for you. With eternity in mind, how can we not try to be a little more civil to those around us?

I was recently reading Michelle Duggar’s blog and admired the way she gets her kids to be the best that they are- through praise! It seems that by praising them when they do something right and taking the time to see and recognize those things works better than always telling them “no”. That woman has 18 perfectly behaved children, and she hasn’t lost her mind, so I am going to try out her method with Aubrey and see how it works. It’s so easy to tear down and let ourselves be torn down (we do it to ourselves most of the time), that I can really see how positive reinforcement would be more effective with kids. 

Finally, we need to pray for our children. There are so many things I worry about with Aubrey that if I let myself dwell on them all, I’d lock us all in the house and consider releasing her into the real world when she’s 35. I can’t protect her from people’s rudeness, and even if I banned MTV from our house, she’d probably find some sort of pop star to look up to. What I can do is give her tools to combat the rudeness (pray for them, perhaps?) and establish steady role models that she’ll really respect (hopefully her father and I will fall into that category).

Live it out for them to see, praise their efforts and pray for them. In this world of “me, me, me” and “now, now, now”, it seems to be the best way to approach raising little ladies and gentlemen. What about you? Do you have any fun ways you taught your kids manners? What did they respond to?

For now, I suppose I’ll spare The Bernstein Bears their destruction by Versa for a few more days. After all, Mama Bear has been around a lot longer than I have… she must know a thing or two.

Fall crafts and recipes

Fall is in the air! From the State Fair to cooler weather, Fall brings many new activities and opportunities to our families. We’d like to share some simple, cheap and enjoyable things you can do with your kids to kick off the season. Autumn officially begins on September 22nd, but these crafts and recipes are entertaining all year long!

1) Make cinnamon butter: combine 2 sticks of butter, ½ cup of brown sugar and 1 tsp. of cinnamon. Spread on bagels, graham crackers or pumpkin bread. Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

2) Make a leaf wreath. You’ll need a paper plate, scissors, glue, acorns, pinecones, and fall-colored leaves. Cut a hole in the center of the plate. Glue décor to the outer ring of the plate and let dry. Your kids will love decorating and you’ll love seeing their creativity bloom!

3) Make a bird feeder. Tie a pencil to the end of some yarn and have your kids (toddlers too!) string round cereal onto the yarn. When it’s long enough, take the pencil out and tie the ends together. Hang it up in the yard where your kids can watch the birds enjoy their snack. This can also be done with candy for an “edible necklace”.

 4) Kids love to color, but if your kids are anything like mine, you have plenty of broken crayons in the box. Why not encourage your kids to play with color combinations and make new crayons from the old? You’ll need to turn the oven to 350 and line a muffin tin with foil. To make life easier, spray lightly with cooking spray. Remove the paper from the crayons and have your kids fill the tins with whichever colors they choose. Place the tin into the oven until the crayons are melted. Remove from the oven once they’ve melted and let cool. Then pop them out of the foil and hand your kids some paper!

5) Bake with your kids. This requires a mindset on your part that the cookies might turn out funny or that the kitchen might be messier than usual when you are finished. I have a two year old and she always wants to be up on the counter when I cook so she can see what is going on. Let your kids help you and make it easier on yourself by measuring everything out ahead of time and lining it up. Allow your kids to pour the ingredients into the mixing bowl as well as a choice of what to add (do you want cranberries or M&Ms in your muffins?). Mommy will have to handle the oven and timer, of course, but your kids will gain confidence that they can make something, and you won’t have the headache of trying to bake with kids at your feet or resorting to cartoons to distract them.

These are just a few suggestions, and we’d love your feedback on how it went when you tried some of these activities with your kids. What about you? Do you remember any crafts you loved as a kid? What do you do with your kids? Do you have any traditions you have passed to them this time of year?

Terrible Two’s

Er, okay, so I have become one of those people who start blogs and then never post. I apologize for that, since I wanted this blog to become a resource for other moms out there. To be honest, the only time I think of something to write is when I am having issues with my own kid…and boy, am I! I’ll get to that in a minute, but I’d like to throw the request out there for ideas and themes for future (and more frequent) posts on this blog. Please tell your friends about it as well, and let’s get the conversation going! 

That said, I have a problem, and I need your help! My child has entered the terrible two’s, and I really have no idea how to handle it. A bit of backstory on this is that about a month ago, Aubrey’s daycare closed and I had two weeks to find a new one. I called the president of the home daycare association for referrals, and she happened to have an opening. It has worked out wonderfully- Aubrey has blossomed in the more structured “pre-school” setting and has started to grasp the concept of potty training. It’s been great! The downside is that since it’s further away from my house, coupled with the fact that my husband is now working 12-14 hour days, I have to leave earlier to get her there on time before I have to be at work. 

This made for some terrible mornings, crying from the second I woke her up to when I dropped her off at the daycare. My pastor’s wife suggested giving her some time to wake up in the morning, instead of going straight to getting dressed and fixing her hair. The very next day, I got her out of bed and set her on the couch with some cheerios and Winnie the Pooh, and ten minutes later she was a happy little camper. She only cried when I left her at daycare and this week was the first week that she hasn’t cried at all when I leave. That has made my day start off more positively and I owe my sanity to Julie! Thanks for the advice. 

However, about two weeks ago, the evenings have become just as, if not more, difficult as the mornings used to be. From the time I pick her up to about Reno and Mustang Road, I hear her sweet little chatter about school, going potty like a big girl, and what she learned that day. I dunno, maybe she hates that stoplight or something, but as soon as we go through that intersection, she starts whining, crying for daddy, and wanting something that I can’t give her b/c hello, I’m DRIVING, KID! Then we get home and it it’s like, “I want this, I want that, I want chips!” and I’m all, “No, child, you have to eat dinner first” and she’s all “WAH WAH WAH!!!!!!!!!!!” and then she starts hitting the dog. I have no idea where this aggression is coming from. 

She has become very defiant, and I know part of that is her age and testing her boundaries, but I have no idea what to do about it. She’s started being mean, which I didn’t know they were capable of this young, as well as hitting and throwing things. It’s not like she is a walking terror, they are little bursts of things, or if I tell her no she’ll hit me (not hard, but you know she’s trying to “hurt” me). 

I have tried time-out, which works for, oh, 5 minutes until she does it again. I have tried spanking, which I am not opposed to, but it doesn’t seem to work. On a side note, I wonder how effective spanking is when you are telling a kid not to hit, but you hit her. Not hard, don’t go calling DHS on me, it’s more like a slap on the hand, but I just don’t feel like it’s working (by the way, you are entitled to your opinion on spanking, but please don’t try be hateful to me or anyone else posting on this topic about it who might disagree with you on it). Plus, I feel like a big jerk when I do it. So- time-out, not working. Spanking, not working. Taking away toys, not working. My cousin sent me this link, which gave me some great insight into dealing with a two-year-old and I plan on putting some of the suggestions into practice… but I want to know why she does these things, and how I am supposed to discipline her. I can’t just say “Well, it’s her age”, and not do anything. I don’t want to raise a brat or a bully. 

So, internet, I implore you to send me your advice, ideas and suggestions. Maybe I need to change the way I look at her, maybe I need to be more firm. At any rate, today, I dread 5 o’clock because I already have a headache and right about Reno and Mustang Road, it’s going to get worse.

I love my little Miss Cat, and I want to be the best mommy possible to her! How could you not want to give the best to this sweet one?

Yummy!

This really is delicious- give it a try!

Green Machine Smoothie Change the title to “Green Monster” Smoothie, and it’s likely your kids will go wild for this nutritious and energizing drink! 1 cup of fresh spinach leaves ½ cup frozen pineapple 1 small banana 1 6-oz. container of yogurt (try to find Greek yogurt, which has twice the protein and fewer carbs than regular yogurt) 3-5 ice cubes Lemonade or orange juice (use sugar-free or diet lemonade if possible) Blend together and serve – and that’s it!  Perfect for before or after a workout. Recipe courtesy Chris Freytag; www.chrisfreytag.com

Yard sale tips

With the economy in the state that it is, we are all tightening our belts and finding new ways to save money. Many Americans are carpooling, eating out less, and the latest trend is to find items normally found in a department store in their neighbor’s garages. Yes, the garage sale is on the rise, and it really is true that one man’s trash is another’s treasure.

My aunt Becky is the queen of yard sale bargains. With twin granddaughters that she watches during the day, she is always on the hunt for great, gently-used toys on the weekends. A few examples of things she has gotten for $5 or less are: play kitchens (normally around $50 in the store), tricycles, wagons, puzzles, books, baby swings, Elmo chairs, and outdoor activities. I really took note of her tactics when my daughter was born and have seen first-hand how the willingness to hunt along with the willingness to use a little bleach can save you a lot of money.

Depending on what you sell, a garage sale can make you a lot of money. If you are willing to part with things like clothing that doesn’t fit you anymore, books you never read, appliances you never use, etc, not only will your house be less cluttered, but you will have some extra spending money to boot! I had a sale last weekend, and it went better than I thought.

 My strategy was more to simplify my life than to make money, so I went through my house and put anything that hadn’t been worn/used in the last year (except for baby stuff, b/c I am almost certain that the Parkers are girl-makers) and tossed it in the garage. My sister did the same thing and together we had a garage full of stuff! At first I felt kind of guilty for even having that much stuff in my house that didn’t ever get used, but then I figured that whatever wasn’t sold, I would take to Goodwill and it would end up benefitting someone in some way.

We arranged the items like you would find in a store, according to “departments”. Natalie has a rolling clothes rack so we hung up all the dresses and pants on it. We had a table full of t-shirts, tank tops, sweat suits and camisoles. In front of this we made a big sign that had everything priced by item (t-shirts: $2, pants: $3, etc). There was a shoe department, household goods, Christmas and accessories. This seemed to work really well for people who knew what they were looking for. Finally at around 11:30, we just wanted to be rid of stuff so we made new signs to tape over the ones we had already put out: “Everything is $1 or less!”. That got rid of most of the rest of our stuff pretty quickly.

 In the end, I made a decent chunk of change, but the biggest payoff was my clean closet and extra cabinet space. Getting ready this week has been so much easier because I am not overwhelmed when I walk into my closet to figure out what I’ll wear. It was hard to resist going shopping with the money I made, but that would have defeated the whole purpose. Instead, I used the money to do something for myself (pedicure) and something for my family (Zoo Pass for the summer).

So, you want to have a yard sale? If you live in Oklahoma City (or any other surrounding towns), you have to get a permit. If you get caught having a yard sale without a permit, it is a $200 fine, so the extra $7 added to my water bill this month will be well worth it. I suggest making signs on brightly colored paper that stand out and list the types of things you will be selling, since many people go out thinking “I really need a (fill in the blank)”. If they see you are selling what they need, they’ll probably beeline it to your house. If you are on any social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter or Myspace, you can advertise for free by creating events and getting the word out.

Here are some more tips for a profitable yard sale from Women’s World Magazine:

*Plan ahead for success! Include “bestsellers” such as furniture, dishes, children’s items, CDs and DVDs.

*Have your sale around the 1^st or the 15^th of each month- people will probably spend more right after they get paid.

*Bundle. “3 books for $2” or “5 pairs of socks for $1” will not only get rid of your stuff faster but people will feel like they are getting a bargain.

*Package. Put a baby blanket, sterilized bottles and a onsie in a basket and sell it all together for a special price.

*put larger items out in the driveway or yard for people to see what you have, such as an old lawn mower, couches or gardening equipment.

*watch body language. If someone is gripping something close to their chest and want to negotiate, chances are they are willing to pay what it’s labeled because they really do want the item.

*name an anchor price. The higher number sets the value in the customer’s mind, and when you give it to them for less, they feel like they got a deal and you got more than it was worth just sitting in your closet.

*if you are having the yard sale as a fundraiser, make it very visible that the customer’s money is going to benefit someone else. If they believe in the cause or know you aren’t just out to make a ton of money so you can go shopping later, they might spend more!

 

In the end, it feels good to simplify your life and having a little extra cash never hurt either. Good luck and happy bargaining!

Save money at the grocery store!

This article has some great tips on saving money at the grocery store. The more articles like this that I read, the more I realize that it takes a certain investment of time to research the deals, cut coupons and print them offline. In these hard economic times, “sticking it to the man” at the grocery store can have a big payoff if you are willing to go the extra mile.

One of the sites I really liked and was totally irritated that I can’t print the coupons at work (you have to “install” it which is a no-no here at work) was www.couponmom.com. Amazing. $5 coupons off of diapers, the type of yogurt Aubrey likes, organic foods, etc. It takes awhile to browse, but I found coupons for almost everything I buy that isn’t generic. And if you research the Sunday papers and buy stuff that is on sale, and use a coupon, you get it for even less!

Sure, some of us may have the means to buy our groceries without even thinking of ways to cut that cost. But I say, with all those free resources available to us on the web, it would be irresponsible not to invest a little time into saving money. I don’t know about you, but there are a ton of different ways I could spend an extra $50 bucks, and none of them include anything digestable.

So, have fun, fire up your printers and get to saving!

Advice needed!

Fellow mommy blogger Angie is in the process of adopting her first child! She asks this question and hopes you will all contribute helpful advice:

“As I prepare to have a baby join our family, I can’t help but look around my house at times and wonder, ‘How on earth am I going to manage being a mom, a wife and a job? I need to get REALLY organized!!’  I know everyone has a trick or two that saves them some time and helps them be ’super mom’. What are other mom’s best suggestions for keeping it all together?”

Comment away…

Smart Grocery Shopping

This article has some great tips on shopping smarter and healthier.

Also, our latest discovery here at TMC is a grocery store called Aldi. It doesn’t have all the name brands of food products, but if you can get past that, you will save so much money on groceries. Their produce is just as good if not better than Walmart or Homeland, for less money. With your grocery list in hand, head to Aldi first and get as many things there before heading to a superstore. You’ll save money and feel responsible, we promise! One shopping tip: have a couple quarters on hand for a shopping cart (when you return the cart you get the money back) or be eco-friendly and bring your own reusable shopping bags (they have bags for purchase or you can just put your groceries in a box, like at SAMS). Click here for more information on payment. Going to this store takes a bit of planning but the savings are worth it!

Happy Grocery Shopping!

Mommy Guilt

I am fairly certain that every mom who just read that title said to themselves, “Oh, yeah. I hear ya”. It seems that when our children come into this world, they not only bring joy, challenge and growth, but (for me at least), it was like Aubrey added an entire new dimension to my personality- guilt. Even when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I felt those pangs of guilt almost every day. Looking back on those early days I can see that it was silly to feel selfish for wanting to pee by myself or for longing for 10 minutes so I would have time to wash my hair AND shave my legs instead of having to choose one over the other (Ryan always voted for the leg shaving). It wasn’t that I didn’t have help or capable people around that I could count on, it was just that I felt like she would know if I wasn’t devoting every second to her and somehow that would damage her. The truth is that it damaged me a lot more!

I think that the amount of guilt you feel as a mom also depends on your personality. Since I am such a control freak, I think that magnifies the guilt I feel. I look at my house and feel guilty that it is such a mess. I look at Aubrey and feel guilty that I haven’t started potty training her even though she has been showing signs of readiness for 3 weeks now. I look at my savings account and feel guilty that the number is not bigger. The problem with these pangs of guilt are that I only see what I’m NOT doing, instead of what God has enabled me to accomplish. Instead of seeing a messy house, I need to see that I have a house, and me working is what pays the mortgage. Instead of seeing that I haven’t potty trained my 19 month old yet, I should be grateful that she is wanting to learn so early in her life and the amount of money I will be saving on diapers after I do get it done. And instead of basing my worth and accomplishment on a number, I need to see that I even have money in my savings account, and that the reason it is low is because we had to take money out to pay for car repairs and pay off a credit card instead of adding to that debt by using that credit card to pay for the car repairs!

 

I can’t control everything. I am learning that. I learned it yesterday here in Oklahoma when, in the course of one afternoon (in FEBRUARY!) the tornado sirens went off 3 times and instead of getting an essential shipment packed and sent, I was in the basement telling God that if I die in the mailroom, I am going to be so ticked off about it. In the end, I need to learn to see and appreciate what has been done, what is being accomplished, and the goals being reached instead of focusing on setbacks or the fact that my life is not fitting into the script I have written for it.

 

Guilt is a dangerous animal. It holds us back from our potential and is often a blinding agent. We are often so racked with it that we cannot see the bigger picture. For example- I felt so guilty for paying someone else to take care of my little girl when it actually turned out to be a blessing- the extra money lessened the financial burden on my husband, allowed us to pay off debt and taught Aubrey how to socialize with other children as well as reinforce that ‘Mommy may drop you off in the morning, but she will ALWAYS pick you up in the evening. Mommy will always come back for you’.

 

When we feel guilt, no matter what it is for, we need to look it in the eye and say “Shut up! There may be good cause for feeling you, but I will not allow you to debilitate me. I will learn from mistakes and press on. I will define myself by what God says about me, not by how I ‘feel’ or by all the times I have screwed up. I WILL GET UP, I will live the life that God has for me. You, Guilt, do not get to control my life.” Like any mother who saw a dangerous animal about to attack her child, you should kill that guilt on the spot, because whether your child is 6 months old or 6 years old, they are going to feel it and it will affect them.

 

It seems that Mommy Guilt is a part of the job- but we don’t have to let it write the description. Love your children, do your best, pray for them, and trust that God will guard their hearts, souls and emotions. Take the opportunity to grow from the pain, and embrace the joyful moments as a chance to be thankful.